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“I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?” – Laurie Halse Anderson, Speak
Has someone ever violated you? If there’s anyone out there who would like to share a similar experience, remember you are not alone. Welcome to HopeNetwork, a circle of trust!
We cannot understand the hell of a pain and suffering you have gone through but only help you with a few points that you can do on your own lessen the effects of the horrible traumatic experience as rape.
1. Write it all down
Make a journal of each and every detail that comes to your mind regarding that incident. Include your feelings, the pain you felt but most importantly information like the perpetrator’s occupation, place of residence, any prior convictions or criminal record etc. It might have happened that the emotional impact of rape might have clouded your memory but you will remember. Just give yourself some time to write.
This is cathartic in itself; like it feels lighter to share what pain you have gone through on paper and at the same time, will be helpful for your lawyer to have the minutest of the details.
2. Record any kind of evidence
If you have sustained any kind of injuries, make a record. Have a concrete proof!
3. Not your fault
Do not blame yourself because it is your fault! You did not invite it. Stop thinking about things like “I shouldn’t have gone to that parking lot; I shouldn’t have been wearing that skirt; I shouldn’t have trusted that guy; I shouldn’t have taken that drink. It really wasn’t your fault. You don’t need to beat yourself up about it.
4. It wasn’t sex
And, most of all, no matter what that monster fed you, it wasn’t sex! So don’t confuse your thoughts with the bleakest of this idea. The perpetrator could be anyone – your partner, unknown, even your known or a blood relation; but remember you have been violated.
5. Channel your anger.
You are angry because you have been violated. Let your emotions pour out on paper or canvas. Art is the biggest form of therapy. The more your rage, the better you will fight and learn.
6. Be realistic
It is okay for you to not trust anyone but do not shut yourself out from relationships.
7. See a therapist.
Remember you are not alone. Consult an online counselling expert who can guide you work through your feelings and pain. Your therapist is the only one who can view the incident objectively and can help you work with your emotions.
